Sunday, May 3, 2009


Yesterday, as I was driving, or rather stuck inside, my car through some intersection in Gezert ElArab St., in the fancy Mohandessien, a little female beggar approached me. She put her fingers on the door, and stuck her head out looking at me through the closed window. She didn't say anything, I didn't say anything either. We both know what she wants, and she is so busy fearing the worst.

The car in front of me moved so I had to move with it to get out of that hell. I signaled her to get away. Needless to mention, I lost track of when I had become so heartless. After I stopped some 1 meter ahead, she came back. I kept looking at her, her dirty fingers, nostrils and ear cavities. The only thing I felt like giving her was a pack of wet wipes. This moment of staring at the poor girl's misery felt like ages. Then the tight traffic started to get lax and I had the chance to run away from that torture.

The thought on my poor mind was: "How the hell did your mother manage to become a parent? She doesn't deserve it. Some other people, including myself, can make much better parents."

I bet some of the readers are know running to the comment box to throw the usual: "Da nasseeb ya benty" or if they have some humour they would go with: "Balash 7eqd ya menafsena."

Our disfunctional society mocks the girl who doesn't succeed in relationships. Should she appear in any social gathering, she is asked about her second half. Who on Earth thinks you are whole.
She spends her days fearing becoming a copy or her divorced boss or her chronically single friends.

I secretly believe that all the girls who claim to need to practice motherhood need to practice something else. They must crawl before they walk, if you know what I mean. However, I will stick with the "I want to be a mother arguement." Now give me your sweet comments of: "Every woman can be a mom, what really matters is what kind of mom you are going to be."

Why can't they be moms?
The idea of adoption was brought into the spotlight when Laila Elwy and Samah Anwar went public with their adopted kids. Of course everyone thought that both of them had the child of the wedlock.
Now, if a girl in her late twenties or early thirties goes to her parents with the above suggestion, she will hear whatever her heart doesn't desire.
  • You can't take care of yourself, you want another human being totally dependant on you?
  • You spend all the day outdoor, who will take care of the baby?
  • Enty 3aiza elnas to2oll 3aleena eh?
  • If you do that, your chances in marriage are going to get slimmer.
The above are only examples, you can contribute with the replies you expect from your parents.

And then the poor girl wouldn't do the adoption she was looking forward to, she indulges herself in selfish activities or any other sort extremeism (yemken elneqab yegeeb el3arees). And one day, she finds herself fatherless, motherless and childless. She could have been lucky with a nephew or a niece or even more who get a huge part of her income. Not to mention that her siblings would be sucking her dry out of her money because they think she has no obligations and that they should enforce the equality of income distribution.

Kefaya nakad!!

P.S.: I am ovulating!


Om HAGAR said...

I don't see what you wrote is Nakad it is a big reality in our life.

I also want to tell you that not every woman could be a mother.

Mothering is really very hard thing. A very big responsibility to have a young child completly depending on you.

and here I'm not talking about eating, drinking, & clothing. these are the easiest thing.

I'm talking about breeding a child to have from him/ her a good person.

I'm talking about creating a personality.

I'm talking to be good yourself to have your children copying the good things you do & be good their selves too.

I'm talking about choosing the right kind of education & the right school.

I'm talking about a lot of sacrifices that must be taken in consideration & done happily & with complete acceptance.

it is not only the issue of getting out of the box that the unmarried woman is incomplete & that she must marry & have children one day.

the issue is much more bigger. what do you think about reconsidering it & writing a new post??

personally I was intending to write a post in my blog or to be honest more than one post about the responsibility of breeding children ion a hard time like ours but I'm still managing have some time free for this.

I wrote a lot sorry for being talkative but you can say that in a way or another you hit my hurt.

thanks for the nice post :)

Mayo said...

Thanks Om Hagar for your comment. I am glad you agree with me that motherhood goes way beyond physical maintenance of the child. Let's be honest, the kid that triggered all that was not physically taken care of.

As for jumping from being single to being a mother of an adopted child, as I mentioned "you must crawl before you walk". However, some people can do it and some can't. But who is to judge?

It is a long discussion that can take all night. But here is the deal: you have adult females dying to be mothers and you had motherless children on the street. There must be an equation to fix this mess... I can't find it on my own.

haijekov said...

p.p.s. Wade7!

Mayo said...

Hoa eh elly wade7??

haijekov said...

you're ovulating and hormonal :)
it's normal on an occasional basis

p.s. this is not a sexist remark :)

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

ever thought that her poor mom didnt even WANT to be a mom?... ever thought that she doesn't really care because she can't force herself to care?
this is not a matter of "deserving" to be a mom, but the society that states "a girl should have another half" is the same society that forces a girl to "BE a mom" when she's married, whether she wanted to or not!
I appreciate the fact that most girls want to be moms, but I also expect them to sympathize with those who were forced into it.

Mayo said...

@ haijekov: yes, it was obvious enough

@ Amy: The mother of this girl in particular doesn't have a society to report to dear. If she did, the kid wouldn't have been on the road that way. Her mother could have had her out of the wedlock whether willingly or not. Alternatively, she could have just escaped taking the girl with her and treating her like a source of income.

Some people are forced to have children when they don't want to, but this is not my interest to honest.

I am annoyed at those who have children and mistreat them.