Fear is bad! But I am not afraid, I am rather acknowledging what I have to go through the experience, through the pain I don't want to go through. I have to witness the fulfillment of the promise of future agony and pain coming my way. Having been there, hearing the words for myself, was not enough preparation. "Unfortunately, the only one who is going to suffer is going to be you."
Being told that you would pay the price for a particular mistake, is not like the actual suffering and paying of the price that takes place later on.
Being prepared, being equipped, being surrounded by buffers in the form of friends and silly hang outs and pointless talk doesn't make the fact that pain is coming your way and more acceptable.
Now every single incident looks like life is looking at you in anger and enacting its revenge against you.
I preach the following lesson so often, but I have yet to learn it.
Knowing the harm coming your way, doesn't make life better in the present and doesn't elevate the pain in the future.Conclusion:
There is no conclusion, just like there is no action, nor choice.
Knowledge of the future without the ability to change the current situation, is like freedom within 2x2 metres prison cell.