Saturday, June 5, 2010

Minor Emotional Outburst

She fought her tears as she said: "You never miss me, not at all."
He was startled with nothing to say in his defense but: "Who says so!"

His answer drove her nuts. She wanted to go on and on about how much he disregarded her and perhaps ignored her. Victimised by her powerful memory, she was flooded by a history of situations where she was simply overlooked. Anyone else can come before her. She never felt worthy of his emotional or moral support.

"But you can
Walk away
Run alone
Spend all your time
Thinking about the way things used to be
If love feels right
You work it out
You don't give it up

"It is vibes." She mentally rejected mentioning particular situations.
"You know I am not mainstream, think anti-mainstream."
"Is that even a word?" That's all she could say, she couldn't hold her tears anymore.

He tried to comfort her. The one thing he has been failing to do recently.
Perhaps, she didn't know why she wanted him anymore and hence she purposefully aborted every trial of his to improve the situation. Perhaps, it is his constant confusion that kept her from looking up to him like before.

She was coming to the sad realisation that she has caught more speed on the start of their relationship and was now ahead of him. Her vision of the relationship was based on her wishes for the best rather than facts. It seems she had fallen for the image she built in her head for him, instead of falling for the real him.

He grabbed her by the shoulder and held her close. She resisted at first just to make him feel bad, then yielded in. She wondered inside her head: "Is that really where I should be?"

"You should take some time maybe sleep on it tonight
You should take some time baby hear the words I said

You should take some time think about your life

You should take some time before you throw it all away"

He whispered to her: "I am sorry." Then he kissed her and added: "We are OK."

And hence he successfully prevented her from contemplating all those questions inside her head. However, he has done absolutely nothing to make her feel any better.

"I ain't got the time
To sit here and wait around

But I got the time

If you say I'm what you want"


Sue said...

if i could, i'd look at you and just acknowledge what you wrote.
perhaps with a nod..

Mo said...

Mainstream! what a wonderful word.
a bit dramatic, but seems his was was successful, or lets say containing:)
God be with you...