So here I am, doing one of the most irritating things ever. Here you go an annonymous PDA. I miss him but I can't stand the idea of seeing him or talking to him.
I don't like to be taken for granted. I can't handle the feeling of being around a person who is a miser about his emotion.
And let me be honest, people see me always independant, the moment I need support or ask for it they are shocked. As if it is shameful that I am a little weak.
And even if I am asking for support cause I need to be pampered, what is so bad about it.
It is extremely uncomfortable when people are emotionally distant because they are overwhelming themselves with new misery from around the globe. Even worse, they would go the extra mile for anyone but you. You are the strong girl.
I am not strong, you have to occassionally take care of me. I know I used to make my own sandwiches with I was in school. I know I paid for my masters and my car and I know I can handle all the shit. But then don't I desrve a shoulder to lay my head on after all the shit, or in the breaks between every troublesome day and the following one.
I am wondering if people see me as emotionally undeserving or they see me as not in need for emotions. Is everyone I know practically selfish, sissy and gay? Why is it always easier to tell me NO, than to say it to anybody else?
And finally.. I will not admit to you that I have been missing you, because you haven't done anything worthy of being missed.